Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
worst night to have a conscience
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
