Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
