he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
