I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
