So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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