Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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