apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
