the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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