dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
