I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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