He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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