Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
