I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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