That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
