if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
