my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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