Sponge bath it is.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
