FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
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