she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
