For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We're too hungover to prance.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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