I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
