The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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