If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think a kid would responsible me up
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
