just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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