what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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