If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize