before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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