So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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