I could have mohawked her pubes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
