he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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