If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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