Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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