If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
