The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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