there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
