You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she peed on how many people?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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