maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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