You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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