i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Randomize
