Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
