redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
