Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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