This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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