Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize