In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
