i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
