i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize