There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
