i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
