In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
