I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
