pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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