sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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