Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
