Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
