I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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