i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize