he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
