i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
