Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Everything about him screamed your future.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
