his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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