ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
