saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When are your genitals available?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
