brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
