Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
