It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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