I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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