Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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