I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
