her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
