My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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