TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
