I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
