It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
