Your tits are I can't wait for
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
