Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
