you're like a bully in the Christmas story
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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