Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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