i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize