Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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