Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
