Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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