is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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