it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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